Could it be PTSD?

I always thought PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder) was a disorder only expiernced by war veterans. I never thought much of it.

Until I started doing research after an abusive relationships.

I cant sleep. But when I do, I have nightmares of my ex. I have nightmares of him being mean to me, lying to me, and hurting me. They are never “good” dreams. Sometimes I wake up in tears. 

Another thing I noticed was random times throughout the day I am overcame with panic and anxiety. It lasts a few minutes and I am able to think good thoughts and calm myself.

I avoid going to certain places because it will remind me of him and what he put me through causing me to have an ‘attack’ of negative feelings.

Hell, I even avoid going on Instagram in fear I will see his name on my feed.

I feel like I can’t trust anyone.

I feel unsafe almost every were I go.

And when I realised I am suffering from PTSD- I got scared. I wondered if it will ever end. Sometimes I still do. I even wondered if the fact I am on a diet and not emotionally eating is bringing out these feelings. 

It’s also wierd because I don’t miss him, I realised how badly he treated me, and I DO NOT want him back. 

But I know these feelings will pass. I know I will feel completley better one day (hopefully soon). And I know that these feelings can be controlled by my thinking.

“You will see light one day. And it will be so bright, so beautiful, and it will be worth all those months in the dark for.”

Has anyone suffered from PTSD? I’d love to hear your expierence.

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33 thoughts on “Could it be PTSD?

  1. hippieturtle17 says:

    I have been struggling with PTSD since I was 17 years old. I’m now 26. There are random thoughts that come into my mind once in a while that will make me lose touch with reality and I have anxiety attacks that linger for hours even after the thought is gone. I still have nightmares involving the guy who drugged and attacked me. The dreams are so bizarre and don’t make any sense. I learned that it helps to talk about the details I remember with others who have experienced such terror. I heard EMDR therapy is magical.

  2. speak766 says:

    I had a very similar experience after I broke up with my abusive ex-bf. I couldn’t sleep and had horrible nightmares about him. My heart would start racing all the time and I would feel weak and dizzy. It has gotten somewhat better over time, but I am still very on edge walking around campus or my building, as we are both in the same graduate program and work in the same building. But I think the most important thing is that you recognize how horribly this person treated you and that you don’t want to be with him anymore. That is probably the biggest step in the path towards healing. Talk to people you trust about how you’re feeling and reach out. Writing about it and finding activities that feel good, like yoga or going for a walk in the park, can also help. These little steps of course won’t take away what you’re feeling but they can help in the moment. I wish you all the best. Stay strong and keeping fighting. Much love

  3. freedomflower13 says:

    I think all of us here gave been through so much on here perhaps if we read each others blogs !!! The chances are we will recognise glimpses of our own lives ….!

  4. freedomflower13 says:

    I gave up with the medication and have battled through the flashbacks or night horrors ! They are getting more capable but who knows if they will ever go 😦

  5. Victoria says:

    I also suffer from PTSD as a result of multiple sexual traumas. PTSD can be alienating, debilitating, terrifying, and more. It’s important to remember that recovery is possible and that, despite how impossible it may seem, you can feel better. I underwent exposure therapy for two traumas and honestly recovered (unfortunately, I was assaulted again and am struggling once again). Although (verbal) exposure therapy (which is the treatment I experienced) is incredibly painful, it WORKS. As difficult as recovery can be, you get out what you put in. EMDR therapy is also used for PTSD, and becoming increasingly more popular. Many people prefer EMDR therapy because it feels easier than exposure therapy. Although, having not experienced this form of therapy, I cannot speak to its success. With all of this being said, I encourage you to reach out to a clinical psychologist (therapist*) to work through your trauma or at least talk to someone. I am always here, if you need someone. Please don’t hesitate to contact me, as I am an excellent support as well as a resource.

    Take care and stay safe.

  6. cherished79 says:

    I have PTSD, and was both sexually abused by a neighbor when I was six, and raised by a narcissistic mother who didn’t know how to show empathy, care or love. I believe the emotional abuse was worse and haunted me throughout my life, and the only way to get through this pain and start the healing process is therapy…by an Experienced Trauma Therapist. It’s taken many, many years of therapy and along the way I’ve dealt with triggers, nightmares and dissociation.

    I’m not completely cured, nor will I ever be, but it’s manageable. My psychiatrist gave me a medication called “Prazosin” (they give this to vets also) and that helped with the nightmares. I’m sorry you are experiencing this; it’s hell, but go slow at your own pace, and stay strong. If you need anything just contact me. Hugs, Deb 🙂

  7. lifecoachingyouremotions says:

    I too have it, following several near death experiences, violent sexual assault, abusive, narcisstic mother and suffering abuse from ex husband. I coped for years and then suddenly the full effects hit me whilst travelling on a motorway! I have heard that EMDR is highly effective in treating PTSD. I will be writing about this in my next blog. Take each day a step at a time, and be kind to you.

  8. Nikkie Nobody says:

    Read up on my stories, trust me there will be a way to help. I still suffer from PTSD myself. I still am having a hard time coping with it all. You have to find ways to help you overcome your fear of him. Exercise helps a lot for the anger and fear. Take lessons on how to defend yourself will help you feel safer knowing you have a better chance if it ever happens again with anyone else physically. Mentally and emotionally are the hardest kinds to get over though. Having friends you KNOW will stay there helps too.

  9. mycraftylittlestitches says:

    I suffer from PTSD due to childhood sexual abuse and after 19 years it still effects me. Counselling has helped but I still have low days.

  10. www.dontlabelmykid.wordpress.com says:

    I’ve worked and lived with people suffering from traumatic memories that won’t leave. Car accident, abuse, or in my case having 3 immediate deaths in family starting with my brother’s suicide. It is reallying not a good idea to try and ” will ” it away. There are some effective ways of working through and moving on but rarely have I seen it done solo..

  11. Embrace Yourself says:

    I too experienced this after an emotionally and mentally abusive relationship. Quite frankly it has lasted years, and I still wonder when and if it’ll pass. Some days are still flooded with anxiety and others I get through the day just fine. It’s good to know your triggers, know yourself, and seek support from your loved ones

  12. onthebrightside1510 says:

    Just here to support your blog. I unfortunately have PTSD. I am surround by many Christian women who know that love conquers all. Any disorder can be reversed through the power of love. Many people who don’t understand will affect you. But keep moving forward.

  13. bethanyk says:

    I have it and have written about it a lot on my blog. It’s a real bitch to have to have and can be triggered by all kinds of things, food, smells, feelings.

  14. Glynis Jolly says:

    I’ve had PTSD, and from a similar situation too. You’re in college so there’s bound to be a counselor around you can talk to. You just need to get it all completely out of your system and things will be better. Notice I said better, not perfect, not how they use to be. I lived with mine too long. Don’t do that.

  15. mamahorror213 says:

    i was in two abusive marriages (emotional abuse on both) and was raped seeral times in my teens and early twenties, all of these contributed to my ptsd. right now most of my nightmares are abouut my 2nd husband and him trying to manipulate me, hurt me, take my kids away (i have three kids 5 and under all from my current and definitely last hubby). i didnt know i had ptsd until very recently, though i knew i had major depressive disorder and generalized anxiety disorder for like 15 years or more. They say it gets easier, i know the meds are helping alot but im still on edge most of the time, and walking on eggshells for ever it seems.

  16. Daily Thankful says:

    I, too, struggle with PTSD. My doctor says it’s how my body processed and responds to trauma – not necessarily that the trigger itself meets the textbook definition of PTSD – that is the issue.

    I see my therapist twice monthly, and my primary care physician monthly. It’s now been more than four months since the triggering event, and I’m learning that time and distance away from it have been helpful.

    Yet I must carefully manage my stress levels and I still struggle daily with insomnia and other issues (vestibular migraine is another). The body’s responses and coping mechanism for stress are swift and not always conscious on my part. I’ve had to process my trauma piece by piece, and trained professionals help me understand why my mind and body have responded the way they have done, in response to the triggering event. This helps.

    However, for me, my faith place a very key role in all of this. I have friends and family who are praying for me, and I pray for myself. I read the Bible daily, seeking God’s heart for me and looking for wisdom to handle my situation. I choose to believe that all this is happened for some reason – not that I necessarily deserve bad things to happen, but rather that there is a lesson for me to learn, and also an opportunity for me to remove myself from the situation and people or harmful to me. This I have done.

    I’m not sure what your faith tradition is, but I can tell you that prayer is powerful. Give God a try! Or, if you prefer to read, I recommend checking out the book of Psalms. I’m reading through this book now, and doing so has been a real comfort to my soul.

    Hang in there.

  17. sayingwhatgoesunsaid says:

    Yes – I have had all the symptoms of PTSD (especially nightmares and panic when reminded and mistrust) after years of psychological abuse by my narcissistic father. But because my abuse was never physical/sexual, my trauma-related symptoms went unrecognized and untreated for decades…. As other commenters have said, I think it is likely to be helpful to you (even if it is painful) to have made this realization sooner rather than later. Best wishes.

  18. Elisabeth says:

    Yes post traumatic symptoms are unfortunately very common after events that have damaged your psychological health and in particular you self-worth. It is not officially diagnosed by clinicians who use the DSM-5 only, unless your life was in danger or you witnessed physical trauma. But, most clinicians who work with a variety of people recognise the symptoms of PTSD in people who experienced any sort of trauma. Healing takes time. Be gentle with yourself.

  19. Carrie Ann says:

    I definitely have suffered from PTSD as a survivor of childhood sexual abuse and then later, sexual assault as a college student. Lots of therapy, specifically EMDR, was ever so helpful! Good for you to make the connection – now your real healing may begin.

  20. athoughtfulteenblog says:

    You are not the only one to experience this. I had a mentally abusive relationship years ago, although it would be considered mild compared to many others, it has taken me 2 years so far to put most of it behind and believe I have trust issues from this particular relationship. I still have not been able to get into a steady relationship since because I am worried that I will hurt them with my newfound insecurities. Although I say all this, the years after that relationship have been the best and I have learnt so much from it. You will grow from it and grow out of it, it may take time, but you will do it!

  21. K.N.Myst says:

    Yes, I’m sorry to hear about your past. I’ve been through something entirely similar, my first love was abusive towards me, and for years I did suffer from similar symptoms. I think there are definitely some things that might trigger a reaction or thought, but I know this might be the stereotype answer since everyone says it, that this got better over time as I took note of the triggers and how to think differently about things. God definitely played a big part in my healing process, and it’s always so difficult and sometimes discouraging, but hey ya know just stay positive, become all you were made to be, and keep hanging in there okay 🙂 Always feel free to contact me at my blog also.

  22. nkdwhtguy says:

    “You will see light one day. And it will be so bright, so beautiful, and it will be worth all those months in the dark for.” This is a very encouraging statement. Stay positive.

  23. HeavensSeven says:

    I’m a combat veteran from the 1990-1994 gulf war as a marine and I suffer from PTSD NOT because of the military but because of a 10yr marriage that was psychologically damaging. Also as an ER nurse I suffer PTSD from working on children who died due to trauma.

    First step is always acknowledging it. The next step is putting it behind you. First recognize the triggers and then with that awareness live your life to the fullest. If you like to worship the Lord then do it with passion. If you enjoy family then love them like there is no tomorrow. Eventually you will be so busy loving life that the triggers will reduce. Also do not be afraid to take your cues from your loved ones. If they say your irritable or off; then trust that and change it.

  24. ilyasstory says:

    I used/use meditation to help with PTSD issues. The nightmares are the worst. I don’t have them nearly as much now that I have a very regular practice. I admit in the early years of struggling with PTSD I used medications, although I am not convinced of their effectiveness. I feel like the best way out is through. Meditation helped me to work through the demons in the dark so speak. I hope that you are able to find healing and peace.

  25. strictmotivation4u says:

    PTSD has been reported with victims of all sorts of abuse, witnesses of abuse, witnesses and survivors of any traumatic experience actually, espeacially those that may have had a direct impact on the brain – which needs not to be just impact to the head, but also form noises etc. so it very well could be PTSD. Dont let yourself be defined by the past, though, you can overcome that. you saving yourself is testament of your srength and beauty of your spirit. like teh flower raises her eha dafter a storm, raise yours and grow to your true beauty you are destined to be #StrictMotivation

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