I always thought PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder) was a disorder only expiernced by war veterans. I never thought much of it.
Until I started doing research after an abusive relationships.
I cant sleep. But when I do, I have nightmares of my ex. I have nightmares of him being mean to me, lying to me, and hurting me. They are never “good” dreams. Sometimes I wake up in tears.
Another thing I noticed was random times throughout the day I am overcame with panic and anxiety. It lasts a few minutes and I am able to think good thoughts and calm myself.
I avoid going to certain places because it will remind me of him and what he put me through causing me to have an ‘attack’ of negative feelings.
Hell, I even avoid going on Instagram in fear I will see his name on my feed.
I feel like I can’t trust anyone.
I feel unsafe almost every were I go.
And when I realised I am suffering from PTSD- I got scared. I wondered if it will ever end. Sometimes I still do. I even wondered if the fact I am on a diet and not emotionally eating is bringing out these feelings.
It’s also wierd because I don’t miss him, I realised how badly he treated me, and I DO NOT want him back.
But I know these feelings will pass. I know I will feel completley better one day (hopefully soon). And I know that these feelings can be controlled by my thinking.
“You will see light one day. And it will be so bright, so beautiful, and it will be worth all those months in the dark for.”
Has anyone suffered from PTSD? I’d love to hear your expierence.